You spend a big part of your life knowing that you've got it in you. That just around the corner you're going to make good on your promise. That sometime, and probably sometime sooner, not later, you're going to realize your potential.
And then there comes a time when you realize that you're probably not.
And at that point, you're not sure if it's because you never really had it in you or because the stars just didn't align for you.
And to make that confusion even more ambiguous...is the fact that for the last little while, you've honestly started to think that there might be other happinesses for you. Happinesses which might, maybe, be better after all. You start to recognize the nuance in things that used to look plain. You start to enjoy the rhythms of things that you had found monotone and arrhythmic.
And you just wonder: am I settling? Or wisening?
But you're not terribly motivated to find out because...after all...can any of the answers to any of these questions ultimately feel satisfying?