Disappearing / Recurrence

 
what does it mean when you stop having recurring dreams?

is it sadistic to mourn the dissapation of recurring nightmares? or is it a mark that you have embraced your humanness fully enough to recognize the good in the bad and the bad in the good so impartially that you welcome all experience as a kind of rich undifferentiated now-ness?

but mourning the past is not now-ness.

and i miss these dark dreams that used to make me up.

i dreamed of urban scapes where i was trying to evade and escape the apocalyptic arrival of aliens and russians. The bomb and the second coming of Christ. They were all on the verge of happening. Maybe were happening? And we (I love these dreams where I am part of a collective, and we are _______________ together. With clarity, decisiveness and unity. So pure....), we are trying our best to evade, escape or outlast this inevitable coming.

have i lost all my fear? is that why the dreams are gone?

*image from CONCRETE NIGHT a film I didn't see until four years after I wrote this post, but I was shocked by how closely some of it's imagery hued to these dreams I used to have.